Breath

There are days when I almost envy smokers.

Air quality laws force smokers to take their cigarettes and other such things outside and away from buildings. I suppose it's a way to regulate respect for others' health, which is good (because those who don't smoke don't have to be subjected to it anyway) and bad (because regulated respect is not real respect and reduces the personal senses of responsibility and community that are so rapidly fading in this world).

At the same time, those who smoke seem to spend more time outside during a normal day than those who don't. I don't bother going outside during my work breaks, and I don't step out of my apartment for ten minutes a dozen times on my days off (the days off I stay home, that is). I could do those things, but I have no reason to. Smokers do have a reason to go outside frequently, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time. They can enjoy the scenery--watch the birds fly by, watch the clouds drift along, observe the changes in weather and seasons, and even enjoy some fresh air (between drags on their cigarettes) instead of the stale, recycled, climate-controlled atmosphere indoors.

I wonder if the smokers see it the way I see it.

Sugar

Nerds (tiny candies that consist of mere blobs of flavored sugar) bounce much higher and much more erratically than I would have expected them to do.

Of course, I didn't expect them to bounce at all, but I suppose that's what they should naturally do when I spill several of them on my desk...

Excuses

Since switching from retail work to a "standard business hours" job, I've noticed a few interesting patterns. For one, I have come to look forward to weekends again where I previously disliked weekends (because they meant that I would be working and inevitably busy). I've also noticed how people in these Monday-through-Friday jobs react to the rest of the days of the week.

Friday is momentous because it is the last workday. On Fridays, I'm frequently reminded of the Friday-ness of the day. "Happy Friday!" "Hey, it's Friday!" "T G I F." And so on. I'm also pleased to know that I don't have to work the next day, but I don't think I need everyone to remind me of it.

Wednesday is remarkable because it is in the middle of the week. It gets a treatment similar to Friday, but without any extra fanfare. "We made it to Wednesday." "It's Hump Day. Halfway through." To me, it's just another workday.

Nobody likes Mondays. "Ugh. It's Monday." "I hate Mondays." "Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays." As a friend pointed out, part of this attitude may be due to excessive drinking and partying on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with little--if any--time allowed for recovery. I think it is mostly due to simply returning to work and being generally unhappy with the prospect of another full workweek looming.

But Monday is singularly unique in that it can be used as an excuse. When mistakes happen on that day, it is not at all unusual to hear. "Oops! Well, it is Monday." I laughed at that as a joke the first time or two I heard it, but I have discovered that it is generally accepted as a valid reason for making the mistake! As if apparently forgetting how to properly do one's job over a mere two days is normal. It doesn't make sense to me because, if the mistake is minor enough, on any other day of the week the same mistake would be grounds for a reprimand from managers.

It makes me wonder if I could get away with the same thing on other days of the week...
"Oh, I wasn't supposed to shred those documents? Oops. Well, it is 3:15 PM on Tuesday."

Comparison

When an American writer or director wants to create a point of reference to convey the size of something large, he or she often goes for the football field. I've been noticing with increasing frequency lately sentences that end with the phrase "...which is the size of X football fields," (where X represents a number).

What does that say about American society? Are we all so interested in and familiar with football that such a thing really is the best point of comparison? Is this going to become a standard unit of measure? (If so, I live almost 40 football fields from where I work.)

And I can't help wondering what other cultures might use for similar size comparisons.

Nomenclature

I have discovered that there is a road somewhere in Oregon called Dead Indian Road. It wouldn't be hard to guess where that name came from.

I have also discovered that there is a town in Oregon called Boring. I believe I shall have to visit it to see if I can determine the origins of its name. If it turns out to be particularly mind-numbing, I'll just wander over to the town of Happy Valley for a while.

Defiance

My office building has a small atrium near the center. We're only allowed to look at it through the windows, though that is quite pleasant. I suspect it used to be open for employee use because of the stone paths that cross it.

Still, it has a couple of trees, some bushes, lots of green ground cover, and a few decorative rocks. I have seen flowers in there, but they're not prominent. And though I've never seen a person enter it, it is obviously well maintained... to a point.

Today I observed one dandelion in the atrium. Among the other plants that had been carefully selected for their aesthetic qualities, it stood out like... well, like a weed. It had a single stalk about a foot tall rising from a small cluster of leaves. It had already gone to seed, so the flower had been replaced by a sphere of white fluff. It stood defiantly, appearing proud at its feat, having grown where no dandelion is allowed, like the first human to swim the English Channel, hike across Antarctica, or do any of the many other things that had previously been seen as impossible.

I know it's a weed. I know it's a pest. I won't allow it in my own lawn (when I have one). But for one brief moment, I almost admired that dandelion.

Punctuation

I find one of my co-workers perplexing. She perpetually has her iPod on and earphones in, cutting her off from the outside world as she bobs and bounces through the office to the beat only she can hear. As a result, I've not had much chance to converse with her. However, after hearing her speak to some of my other co-workers from time to time, I don't think I'll complain too much.

She does seem to be an upbeat person, but the way she expresses that is unusual. She ends nearly every sentence with a laugh. That in itself is not bad, nor is it necessarily strange. I know many people who laugh after they express their thoughts. This co-worker, however, laughs as she expresses her thoughts.

I had a hard time figuring out how to write it, but I think this will suffice. A statement from her comes out something like this:
"Hey, that's a good ide-eh-eh-ah-ha-ha-ha!"
"I don't know what I'm going to do today for luh-huh-huh-ha-ha-nch ha ha."
"Oh, I know exactly how you fee-heh-hee-hee-heh-heh-ha-hull."

I think having to converse with her daily would slowly drive me ma-hah-hah-ah-ad.

Mist

I've seen many commercials for air fresheners in my life, and their frequency seems to be increasing. I was unaware that bad smells were becoming such an epidemic in this country.

I think air fresheners can be useful to a certain degree, but I sincerely doubt I will need to use them as regularly or as heavily as the advertisements say I should. That's not what annoys me, though. What annoys me are the names given to the "scents" that are offered.

It's not the silliness of some of the names. It's the misrepresentation. "Tundra Mist" doesn't smell anything like the arctic tundra. "Ocean Surge" does nothing to remind me of the beach at high tide. "Blossoming Meadow" will never conjure images of flowering fields. "Spring Morning" and "Summer Breeze" smell the same to me.

Today I saw a commercial for another new air freshener. This one claimed to impart the refreshing scent of a waterfall. I will admit that the air around a waterfall is particularly pleasant in an invigorating way, but I sincerely doubt any manufactured chemical spray could ever duplicate it. There is much more to smell than the simple matter of particles of matter coming into contact with olfactory receptors in the nose and causing neural activity.
- Temperature makes a big difference. Think of an apple pie. Does it smell the same fresh from the oven as it does from the fridge the next day? The air surrounding waterfalls is generally cooler than my living room, and I'm not about to turn on the AC to duplicate that aspect of the experience.
- Humidity and moisture are factors. Would you rather share a room with a wet dog or a dry dog? Waterfalls involve water, so the air around them is wet. The air in my house is dry.
- Waterfalls involve rocks, soil, plants, and algae. If some air freshener manufacturer managed to fit all those aspects of their scent into one package, I don't think I could carry it home, let alone afford to buy it.

The only way to really get my living room to smell like a waterfall would be to build my living room around a waterfall.

Nationality

When we say that someone is from America, we say they are American. Many other countries can be altered to have -an at the end in the same way.

When we say that someone is from Japan, we say they are Japanese. Many other countries can be altered to have -ese at the end in the same way.

When we say that someone is from Spain, we say they are Spanish. Many other countries can be altered to have -ish at the end in the same way.

Of course, there are minor adjustments that have to be made for all of the above examples to work, but they're common enough that we are familiar with them. France seems to be mostly unique in that the entire country's name is changed when referring to the nationality instead (from "France" to "French"). I can't think of many similar examples other than Welsh (for Wales) and Dutch (for the Netherlands).

Wouldn't it be funny, though, if the -ch used for France worked with other countries? Well, perhaps not in all cases, but it sure would for people from Belgium! We could call them the Belch!

Arbor

Many paved parking lots--such as those of malls or grocery stores--have "islands" of dirt, decorative rocks, weeds, wood chips, or malnourished trees. Today my wife and I visited a permanent farmer's market establishment in the north end of our town. Their small parking lot was paved, and it had "islands" too. But Those islands were populated by tall, old trees that had obviously lived there long before any people thought of selling produce near them.

Instead of clearing ground, paving the parking lot, and trying in vain to put back a little greenery, these folks just paved around at least some of what was already there. I would like to see more of that. If nothing else, at least parking lots would have more shaded spaces to fight over in the summertime.

Doppler

The Doppler effect ruins techno music.

While biking home today, I stopped at a red light next to a car from which I heard some loud techno music. Heavy bass beats, repetitive synthesized melodies, that sort of thing. I can't say I didn't like it, though I doubt I would buy the CD for myself.

The next light was red, too, but it had a line of cars, so I passed the techno car (slowly because of a truck that was turning ahead of me) and pedaled my way up to the light. After it changed and I got going again, the traffic, naturally, sped up to a higher speed than I could go. The techno car passed me again, traveling somewhere between ten and fifteen miles per hour faster. I heard the music again, but the Doppler effect (that perceived change in pitch caused by compression or decompression of sound waves as one object moves in relation to another--like the horn of a speeding truck) ruined it. It sounded like a warped record or an audio cassette in a Walkman whose batteries are failing.

See if I ever try to listen to somebody else's music on the road again.

Hero

I enjoy video games. I'm a big fan of the classic space shooters like Galaga, Invaders, R-Type, and the many, many clones thereof. However, I'm much more interested in the genre of RPG (Role-Playing Games), whether action-oriented or turn-based. I like them because I get the entertainment of a video game and a story. It's the story that makes those games entertaining, and the deeper the plot, the better.

One of my current favorites is a recent installment of a classic series--Nintendo's The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, released for both the GameCube and the Wii. It has the typical RPG-style story: save the world from an encroaching evil. Of course, that remains the overarching theme throughout the game. But there's more to this one, and it's the added depth of plot that particularly impressed me, even more than the rich landscape and detailed effects.

While the player's character does end up saving the world, that's not his primary goal. The game forces it's world-saving objective, but the player's character focuses on smaller tasks that involve helping people. And the impetus that drives him from the beginning is as simple as a neighborly concern for the children of his home village. The player's character's ultimate goal is to save the children and bring them home. And if that means saving the world while he's at it, so be it.

Don't believe me? Either pick up the game or browse your way to YouTube. Watch the opening scenes and the first few game objectives, then compare them to the ending animations that play during the credit roll.

Not all games promote violence.

Inefficiency

At work, I process some documents from various state government agencies. One of the Great Lakes states (Minnesota, I think) uses abbreviations for their courts, such as "MUN" for municipal, "JUS" for justice, and so on. But I think the purpose of an abbreviation is lost--even countered--when it always appears with an explanation.

Every time this state prints the court abbreviation (at least on the papers I handle), it reads:
"Court: MUN ('MUN' = Municipal Court)"

Could they not just write it "Court: Municipal"?

...To Begin With

Charles Dickens' most famous book opens this way: "The Marleys were dead, to begin with." It's an excellent opening line, even if one already knows the story.

I doubt I shall be so eloquent, even if I have had some writing practice, but with this entry I begin a new blog, having become disenchanted with LiveJournal, having decided that my journal should be for my own thoughts that I want to keep to myself, and having lost interest in maintaining a photographic record of shopping cart rescues.

Instead, this will consist simply of my observations--the ideas that enter my mind while I'm walking, busy doing other things, or trying to sleep. These are the things that are not quite worthy of my personal journal but are interesting nevertheless. They will seldom be political, and readers will have to dig deep to find any profound meaning. This is just a dumping grounds for the things I wonder about, the things I think about, the things that boggle my mind, and the things that I sometimes discuss out loud with myself.

My observations.

Hence, the squirrel was dead, to begin with.